Thursday, May 03, 2007

so.............

Hello! I have wondered whether I should blog what has happened to me over the last couple of days .............. I'm not going to go into too much detail cos after all this is a world wide web but *deep breath*

I went into hospital the other day for an operation. I was put on the waiting list 6 months ago, having received all the counselling. I also had my pre op assessment last week which confirmed I was ok to have the op. I had several panic attacks the night before the op, worst one came when Mel and Carol were nice to me on msn and I could not stop crying! I fasted from 9.00pm and had a terrible nights sleep (well lack of sleep!).

Then that morning I went to hospital, terrifyed. Bloods taken, many discussions with drs and consultants and got changed to go to theatre.

Then I was told I was too overweight to have the op and they had decided to cancel it.

So I had to get dressed and was asked to go home, lose weight and come back in 12 months time!

Yesterday I was upset and felt very humilitiated. My friends generally checked on me every hour on the hour! and they got me through the day. Dh was completley perfect and sister was fab too.

Today I have woken up angry. Very angry. Not that I wasn't allowed the op, not that I may not have the second thing I really want, but I was put through so much and they were the ones who said I should have this op in the first place!!!

So I hit my room and got creative, altered a clock for Sue's big challenge (can't show you!) and Steph's Buffy cj box (can't show you!) and Bex's cj (yeah you've guessed it!!).

But one other thing I did was to scan some old baby photos, which has really helped me today. This is why I am getting over it and moving on, and this is why I am one of the luckiest people I know.



7 comments:

Melissa said...

aw Lise sweetheart!
I dont understand why they put you through all that in the first place! This really makes me so angry, so can see why you were upset about it!

BUT you ARE beautiful big or small, fat or thin you are YOU!!

And we all love you for who you are! Please dont let them get you down, although its easy said than done i know!
Please shout if you need me, i am always om the other end of MSN or an email, even the phone!

Look after yourself hunni bunni xxx

Bex said...

Lisa

You know how I feel xxxxxxxx
Glad you have found an outlet to vent in your craft room!

And OMG that picture of Ollie is JUST Adorable!
Love n Hugs xxxxxxxx

Love Bex

Rachel said...

awwwwwwwwwww hun saw you online at CBC and thought Id better check on you, and after seeing this just want to drive up and give you a hug. thinking of you babes take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

hey you brave girl

think of you always XXX

Hazel said...

Oh Lisa - I've been wondering all week when the op was and whether you were OK - didn't like to enquire too much.
Reading this this evening has brought tears to my eyes. Please be assured of my love and prayers. What an awful time to put you through.

Em said...

LOVES YOU LOADS

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

XXXXX

Rachel said...

Aww Lisa I am so sorry they let you get so far down the line. I know where you are coming from as I am being nagged by the GP - heavily at the Mo as My BP is so high and I need to lose weight too. If you need a weight loss buddy let me know and maybe we can spur each other on - although quite how I will fit it all in I don't know
Rachel